All animals go to heaven

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21 comments, 108 points
  • Jeremy Longwood

    ONCE AGAIN… Animals do not go to heaven because they don’t have souls! They are automatons… They are PROPS for decorating the planet and they are food supply for man. They were never created with souls.

    • Max

      Do gingers have souls?

      • Jeremy Longwood

        Of course not. Gingers are the result of Pagan ritualists poisoning entire generations of white people with Satanism and witchcraft. The redhair is a result of demons inhabiting and controlling the human body.

        • Max

          What about onions?

          • Jeremy Longwood

            Anything that makes you cry most definitely has a soul.

          • Max

            That is exactly what I thought I was gonna say too, in case you said onions didn’t have souls!

          • Octopus of Disapproval

            But when my mom’s cat died I cried, so did that cat go to heaven?
            And what about the dogs that bit me when I was a kid, that made me cry, did those biting dogs go to heaven? Or that time when those lions recognized the human that had raised them when they were reunited years later? That made me cry. So did those lions go to heaven?

        • daverbes

          I can agree with that, but again, we have lots of souls. We collect them!

        • Max
          • Jeremy Longwood

            What a great picture of me… I think I was 32 here.

          • Shai Hulud

            dude seriously is guy like the next Ken M?

          • almightybeard

            He’s our local troll….most just ignore him

          • daverbes

            Why? He’s fantastic!!!

          • Max

            That is the alternate / troll account of Charlie TooHuman (Captain Obvious).

            cc: @almightybeard:disqus @daverbes:disqus

          • Shai Hulud

            he’s damn good.

  • Carlos the Dwarf

    Thank goodness, we sometimes get what we need rather than what we deserve!

  • Shai Hulud

    after getting bit by big croc Graham
    “It’s not his fault, I’m not mad at him, Graham’s just a naughty boy”

  • Aidan Weiss-Rice

    If all animals go to heaven, then why do some people go to hell?

    • Garrus Vakarian

      because all animals are good, but some humans are bad

      • Aidan Weiss-Rice

        Humans are animals though

        • BlackSwan

          Humans are animals with higher reasoning skills.

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